I need help removing her.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
