Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
