He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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