i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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