Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
