You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
