ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
