So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
