dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
