everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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