The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
