How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
are you so shy because you have an std?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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