yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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