After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
