I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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