I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
