I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
