I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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