I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Still dying that you shit outside
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
