all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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