Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
