i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize