You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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