Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It's just like the Real World with babies
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
