He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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