it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
