Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
of course. lets lasso hookers.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
