Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
