Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
