At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
