his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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