I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
