Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
