Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
