She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
