Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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