Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize