If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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