So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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