Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
