omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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