you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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