sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize