if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
