Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
