K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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