We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
