My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
