My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
