That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
