so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
