My first STD was from a foam party
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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