Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
