sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
