do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
