Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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