fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
