and she was petting her beer can
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
